So I requested a new position at work for next year. It is a preschool position working only with 3-5 year olds who qualify for speech and language services. They come, generally, twice a week for about 2 hours each time and it's set up more like a "class" than a typical speech session. There are 3 classes a day for 4 days a week, with the other day for testing and IEP meetings. It is a position with an SLP in the class (me) and a paraprofessional to help. Well..... I got it!! I am SOOO excited to get back to my age group that gets me the most excited in the world of speech. Before I came to the school district I was working ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) in Virginia serving birth-3 year olds. I still miss those days, and honestly, if it wasn't for the school hours I would go back to that in a heartbeat. So....this is the next closest thing with better hours (and no driving which is also a blessing) to be with my own 3 kids.
When bargaining for this position, I had to make a choice to take this program or to continue to be the district "lead" for speech. I was not being paid to be a lead, so there was no salary difference and it meant getting back to what I loved...so of course....I chose the preschool program. So.....today....in typical school district fashion....the plot changes....here is how the conversation goes....
Director: So....I really need someone next year to be our "go-to" person for speech questions. I can't leave that all up to our co-ordinator (who has no speech background) and you have done an outstanding job this year....
Me:...So....what are you saying?? (Thinking: crap- if they take this preschool position back I am going to have an absolute cow)
Director: Tell me what you didn't like about being lead....
Me: blah...blah....blah...blah....blah....(use your imagination....I don't enjoy people management is the bottom line)
Director: Well, we really need someone we can ask questions from and it really needs to be you...
Me: Hmmm.....any plans for memorial day weekend???
Later....I email them saying I will consider it IF they let me draft out what responsibilities I will retain and what responsibilities I will delegate. I am crazy and can't say no. Sometime I think it would be eaiser to think like my husband or my dad and bluntly say "Sorry, I'm sure you can find someone else to do that."
Loyalty- we all feel it sometimes and we can't quite figure out why. Today I felt it and still can't put my finger on why. I don't think it is an ego thing for me- I think it's that "I must help if they need me" complex. I have suffered from that for many many years....know any cures?
What can't you say no to?
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2 comments:
Brenda,
That's a hard one. I have the same problem. Although I'm getting better.
A good friend of mine just shared some advice with me. She told me if God wasn't calling me to do it, then I shouldn't be doing it. If I do something because "it needs to be done" or because "nobody else will do it" then I am taking an opportunity from somebody else that God may want in that position. So I have really begun to pray about some of the things I have been doing and finally have peace in saying "no" to some of them for next year because it's not what God's calling me to do.
I have a hard time saying no without feeling guilty. I really like Tracy's comment. That's great advice!
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